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Those few readers who have been frequenting thefuriousromantic.com since its launch in early January might remember that the site tagline wasn’t always “Press Forward and Keep Yelling.” I decided to replace the previous line (”Get Mad”) with this phrase (imperative?) the day after engaging in a short nighttime conversation with my lady love about the options that we as a couple had available to us while trying to “make it” as both artists and young Americans of the non-head-up-ass variety. I will of course welcome any additional suggestions from anyone who thinks he or she might have one, but let it be known that, for us, all we could really come up with was “Press Forward and Keep Yelling.” So there that is.

I bring this up in order to introduce, in a general way, some more specific updates regarding a few things that have been promised in earlier posts on the site but have not yet appeared. That is to say: as backwards as this may at first seem…much of the actual stuff that I had hoped to share with everyone on this site hasn’t yet arrived because…I’ve been busy pressing forward. I am also storing up for a big yell.

In more specific terms: I have been working on another project apart from this blog. This may not seem like surprising news to some of you. To others, it may not seem like something that you, as a furious reader, need to know. But there are a few important reasons, relating to what you have read so far on the site, that have left me feeling that a site update may at this time be a good idea.

The first reason is that I am truly dedicated to differentiating this site from it’s main sources of information: the media and me. I don’t want this to be a place filled only with criticisms and complaints. Complainers and critics, in my opinion, deserve only a small percentage of any one person’s attention and/or consideration - and even then, this only holds true when they are either very smart or very good (if they were both, they wouldn’t be a critic or complainer). Anyway, I want more than a small amount of attention from you. In order to earn it, I feel like I should be contributing towards “change” in addition to simply calling for it to happen.

So…yeah…I’ve been working on another project. A big one. I will provide more information on this project when the time is right, but for now I only mention it as a means of providing an explanation for the following “broken promises.”

The Fiction Section - As mentioned in my post about the literary criminality of cell phone novels, I am currently in the middle of a long, indefinite break from fiction writing. The idea, when I first started the site in January, had been to populate this section of the site with those few polished short stories that I “completed” in 2006 and 2007, as well as to possibly start developing one or two new pieces as time progressed (and depending on your reaction to the older pieces). My failure to implement these steps has occurred as a result of:

1. The monopoly that my current project has held and continues to hold on my time (and life),
2. The nature of my current opinions regarding the value of traditional fiction to “the audience” at large,
3. And, finally, fear.

Regardless, I still do plan on releasing some of my work to the public…so…please be patient.All of these reasons - as far as I can tell - are both significant and legitimate. All will also, however, be dealt with in due time. The amount of traffic to the fiction section of the site has been very flattering. Despite the fact that it contains absolutely no content, it is the sixth-most visited page out of the 40+ that currently exist. I know that much of this traffic is due to the fact that many of my readers are friends - and friends that know me as more of a fiction writer than a blogger - but the interest is appreciated nonetheless. Thank you, and I promise that eventually, there will be fiction in the fiction section. Just go easy on me when that day comes.

The Video Section - This section of the site, for all offensive porpoises, is also empty. According to the last email that some of you received, as well as the inaugural video post, this should not be. There is, however, a good reason for the delay. The first webisode that was supposed to come-atcha came out well…but for certain reasons it can’t be finished until the next several webisodes are also finished. The next several webisodes can’t be started - never mind finished - because of the “big project.” Please understand that this is not due to a lack of initiative or desire. The video, like the fiction, will eventually arrive. But it won’t arrive until I can make sure that it’s up to par with both what I can do and what you deserve as an audience.

Feature Length Articles - Same old song and dance. A few longer posts have appeared on the site from its inception until now. But while these have (hopefully) offered a little more depth and insight than some of the quicker, shorter entries that I’ve been able to sneak in from time to time…they don’t quite represent what I’m envisioning in terms of the more substantive posts that you’ll eventually see once the “big project” is out of the way. Sadly enough, the list of yet-be-completed feature articles begins with the article that was previously going to be the introduction to this site. So….with that in mind…you can be decently sure that I’m going to get around to writing these sooner or later. If I don’t…then that means the whole endeavor has either failed or been derailed. Ain’t going to happen.

That’s really it. Once I am no longer under the heel of the “big project,” you’ll start seeing some of the material that you’ve been promised. In the meantime, please continue to visit the site for bits and pieces of fury and love.

Awwwww….

…grumble.

Earlier today, I went to the pharmacy. My future wife and I ran out of bar soap a week ago, and I can only use her skin-replenishing, moisturizing body-wash so many times before I start feeling like a tart.

Anyway, I went to the pharmacy, grabbed some soap, and a Diet Sprite Zero…and some 50%-off Easter Candy, and headed to the registers.

Only one register was open, and behind it was a line that ran past the front of the pharmacy and down one if its middle aisles. I would chalk this lack of adequate customer service up to the fact that things aren’t going too well right now with the economy, but in reality…there is always just one person at the register. Actual customer service really doesn’t matter anymore. At all.

What I am about to say conflicts slightly with some of what I’ll be complaining about later, but I have the honesty sickness…sooo…let’s get it out in the open. I hate lines. If I could somehow discover a way to tell for sure whether or not some line that I was a part of was made up out of intelligent and considerate people, I wouldn’t hate them so much. But I’ll never be able to do that, and, fact is, most people are less-than-intelligent and inconsiderate and oblivious to everything past their own nose. So I try to avoid lines.

Case in point…against my better judgment…I attempted to forgo the line in question by approaching one of the two self-checkout registers that had been installed in this particular pharmacy. Read more

Note: This post may not be safe for worktime viewing.

* * *

An example of the difference between writing-writing and blog-writing…

When I’m writing something real, I do everything that I can think of (within reason) to back-up my work.

I save constantly and in many places (hard drive, flash drive, email-copy) at once. I print hard copies and I file them and I never throw them away. The loss of even a single, potentially brilliant phrase, can and will unman me. Whenever I lose something that I feel is even somewhat important (the essential reason why I would be writing it down in the first place) I either descend into a deep blue depression or fly into a day-long rage. This is how important my work is to me. This is how deeply paranoia, egotism, and insecurity can affect a person.

Hank Moody would be proud. Actually, he probably wouldn’t. He’d probably lash me with his tongue, probably would call me a weakling of a writer, a man dependent more on the paper (or the screen) than on just the identity itself…someone who, in place of being an actual writer, merely writes. Fuck you Hank Moody. You’re fictitious!

Anyway - that’s what happens when I write something real and then lose it. Read more

I promise to someday do more with this space than link to various articles from The New York Times, but until that day comes, take your rehashed news and like it. Bitch.

Meant to send this along a week or more ago. It’s an article about one man’s attempt to spend at least one day a week in technological darkness - no computer, no television, no celly. His description of the experience is worth a look. I empathize with his difficulties. Stop reading my blog and go for a walk.

Do not use your walk as an excuse to buy a latte. Bust up that Starbucks!

This article begins as an exploration of the legacy of Gary Gygax (the creator of Dungeons and Dragons) but segues into an exploration of the modern American’s tendency to:

• Create a character based on themselves through an online identity, so that they may
• Form relationships between other characters within the context of that artificial identity, so that
• Everything can proceed within a certain set of imagined rules, so that
• Our behavior (and thus, much of our lives) can be weighed and measured as data or information, which is
• More easily bendable to our liking and cleaner and neater than real life.

I will save my exact comments on the general theory put forward by the article and its author…because while I see the point and even agree with it…I tend to think that the cause and effect relationship at play here has slightly more complexity and depth to it. Read more

Courtesy of Kevin Kelly’s (Wired.com) blog, a sweet little anecdote about The Ultimate Machine - a clever contraption whose sole purpose, when turned on…is to turn itself off.

The hand only wants a little peace!

My life has changed forever in these past few days. Last night I did it, and tonight I’m doing it again. What did I do last night? What am I doing now…again?

Watching Baywatch.

Baywatch came on the TV, and I didn’t change the channel. Twice. You know why?

Because I can’t believe that it exists. Baywatch…exists. What?

Did you watch Baywatch? Why?

It’s so horrible. But I am too tired and too poor to do anything else…

…do only poor people watch Baywatch?

TV screens in elevators provide several important services to the average American. These include:

• Distracting men and women from the awkwardness of close physical proximity with strangers. Elevator TV screens give you something inhuman to look at when only humans are otherwise around. They provide you with a fixed point for focusing your attention and a passable excuse for avoiding eye-contact with other human beings. Yeaaaaaa elevator TVs!
• Providing men and women with up-to-the-minute news updates, weather updates, random sport statistics, random fun facts, celebrity birthday updates, and, of course, advertisements…in case any of these were missed when watching TV at home, listening to the radio on the way to work, or while surfing the web at home, at the office, on an iPhone or DingleBerry, or in a Starbucks. Bust up that Starbucks!
• Establishing camaraderie between coworkers. For instance…

I got into a TV’d elevator today with a random strange man. The doors closed and the elevator started moving and we both read the news item that was currently on the elevator TV. This was the news item that we saw, a report that two women had been arrested for fist-fighting in a Chuck E. Cheese when one of their sons wouldn’t stop “hogging” a video game that the other’s son wanted to play. This wasn’t included in the elevator TV update, but anyone who follows the previous link can access additional information on the brawl, including one police officer’s on-the-scene statement that he “doesn’t even know if they finished their pizza.”

Anyway, the elevator stopped just as the strange man had finished reading the screen. He scoffed, the doors began to open, and before leaving he turned slightly towards me and said: “Amazing, huh?”

I replied (with sarcasm!): “Actually, no, it isn’t.”

He laughed uproariously at that. Yeah. We were “buds.” Then the door closed.

Thanks, TV!